i am so lucky to have friday. it's hard to be in a bad mood on fridays because if nothing else, you know that you don't have any homework due tomorrow. :]
i am so lucky in so many other ways, too. instead of going day by day i'm just gonna tell y'all whats been going on generally.
but anyway, i am so lucky to have friends like you girls. i had a rough night on wednesday.. katie was really stressed about life in general so i spent most of the night with her trying to get her to focus on studying haha and then i finally got back to my room and jess was in here with her mannn. not really her man, but her friend... so i left again and she finally kicked him out at like 11:45 and i still had to shower. i don't know why but it just kind of set me off. stress is contagious i think.
so anyway i just got kind of like emo and had one of those "i don't like ANYTHING about myself" nights. heather pretty much saved me by telling me that i can't think like that, that i need to tell myself that it's dumb to think that way, when i know that i have friends and family who care about me. obviously there must be something to like about me even if i can't see it at the time, haha. Thursday started out kind of crappy too but got better (especially after talking to heather :] ) i think i'm just oversensitive sometimes.. like some of my friends went to lunch without me but to be fair, i had class right before and maybe they didn't know when i'd be back. but it would've been nice to be asked, or they could've invited me to join them. but in the long run, it's not a big deal. i know they are still my friends and i know that they probably didn't mean anything by it.
i spend a lot of time moping and feeling sorry for myself, especially at night. so instead of doing that, i'm going to make a conscious effort to make myself a better person. not just like, being nice to everyone or being more considerate, but being healthier all around and everything. yesterday i ate really healthy and worked out and went to bed early and today i feel AMAZING. it's crazy what one day of healthier habits can do for a person.
i'm thinking of starting my own blog. especially when i see how much i write on here. so that might happen. i feel like i need a way to write down my thoughts and old fashioned journals aren't cutting it for me haha. this might sound crazy, but i've been talking to this girl i met a looong time ago on xanga and she has a blog that kind of made me want to start one haha. she also has a book published - crazy, right?! makes me feel kind of lazy...
trying to figure out what to do about my major is mucho stressful, as i know a lot of you know. i love my cojo class (communication and journalism) and i've been thinking of doing that as my major. i just don't know if i'd be able to make it in that business, you know? i want to double major in business and journalism but i don't think i'm gonna have time, so i'll probably end up minoring in one or the other. we'll see.
i'm also choreographing a lyrical duet to ingrid michelson's "breakable" for my friend cynthia and i for our dance club show. which is really fun but kind of stressful.. i have like a minute and a half done which is pretty good but 1 - i don't know how to cut music and 2 - we need to finish it! i don't even know if it's good haha, like she said she likes it but what if neither of us know what we're doing?! crazy stuff.
speaking of ingrid michelson, i'm totally going to the concert at luther next weekend!!! so excited! courtney is going down there to visit her friend and go to it, and ali found a ticket for me so i'm going too!! yay :]
i want to get a fish for next year. just so ya know. i'd get a bird but i don't think they're allowed.
oh, easter happened. we didn't do much - made brunch for ourselves and then went to dinner at my aunt and uncles with about 100 russian orthodox people. nothing too exciting haha.
what lizzie wrote kind of got me thinking too - it's really hard to grow up. you girls are my oldest friends, and it would be so hard to drift apart. which is why i'm glad that we aren't. :] i know we are all going to go our different ways and meet new people, maybe people we like better or can relate to more, but i think you girls (besides my family) understand me the most, since we've all been through so much together and have been there for each other for so long. you probably understand me more than i understand myself sometimes, haha. i'm lucky to have such faithful friends, and i hope that never changes :]
so i guess that's my life as of late! if i start a blog, i'll let you know so you can read it EVERY DAY. just kidding, i'm sure you have much better things to do with your time than read my ramblings. :P i love you and i'm so glad I got to see you all over my break at least once!! this last bit of school is gonna fly by and then we get summer <333
i am so lucky in so many other ways, too. instead of going day by day i'm just gonna tell y'all whats been going on generally.
but anyway, i am so lucky to have friends like you girls. i had a rough night on wednesday.. katie was really stressed about life in general so i spent most of the night with her trying to get her to focus on studying haha and then i finally got back to my room and jess was in here with her mannn. not really her man, but her friend... so i left again and she finally kicked him out at like 11:45 and i still had to shower. i don't know why but it just kind of set me off. stress is contagious i think.
so anyway i just got kind of like emo and had one of those "i don't like ANYTHING about myself" nights. heather pretty much saved me by telling me that i can't think like that, that i need to tell myself that it's dumb to think that way, when i know that i have friends and family who care about me. obviously there must be something to like about me even if i can't see it at the time, haha. Thursday started out kind of crappy too but got better (especially after talking to heather :] ) i think i'm just oversensitive sometimes.. like some of my friends went to lunch without me but to be fair, i had class right before and maybe they didn't know when i'd be back. but it would've been nice to be asked, or they could've invited me to join them. but in the long run, it's not a big deal. i know they are still my friends and i know that they probably didn't mean anything by it.
i spend a lot of time moping and feeling sorry for myself, especially at night. so instead of doing that, i'm going to make a conscious effort to make myself a better person. not just like, being nice to everyone or being more considerate, but being healthier all around and everything. yesterday i ate really healthy and worked out and went to bed early and today i feel AMAZING. it's crazy what one day of healthier habits can do for a person.
i'm thinking of starting my own blog. especially when i see how much i write on here. so that might happen. i feel like i need a way to write down my thoughts and old fashioned journals aren't cutting it for me haha. this might sound crazy, but i've been talking to this girl i met a looong time ago on xanga and she has a blog that kind of made me want to start one haha. she also has a book published - crazy, right?! makes me feel kind of lazy...
trying to figure out what to do about my major is mucho stressful, as i know a lot of you know. i love my cojo class (communication and journalism) and i've been thinking of doing that as my major. i just don't know if i'd be able to make it in that business, you know? i want to double major in business and journalism but i don't think i'm gonna have time, so i'll probably end up minoring in one or the other. we'll see.
i'm also choreographing a lyrical duet to ingrid michelson's "breakable" for my friend cynthia and i for our dance club show. which is really fun but kind of stressful.. i have like a minute and a half done which is pretty good but 1 - i don't know how to cut music and 2 - we need to finish it! i don't even know if it's good haha, like she said she likes it but what if neither of us know what we're doing?! crazy stuff.
speaking of ingrid michelson, i'm totally going to the concert at luther next weekend!!! so excited! courtney is going down there to visit her friend and go to it, and ali found a ticket for me so i'm going too!! yay :]
i want to get a fish for next year. just so ya know. i'd get a bird but i don't think they're allowed.
oh, easter happened. we didn't do much - made brunch for ourselves and then went to dinner at my aunt and uncles with about 100 russian orthodox people. nothing too exciting haha.
what lizzie wrote kind of got me thinking too - it's really hard to grow up. you girls are my oldest friends, and it would be so hard to drift apart. which is why i'm glad that we aren't. :] i know we are all going to go our different ways and meet new people, maybe people we like better or can relate to more, but i think you girls (besides my family) understand me the most, since we've all been through so much together and have been there for each other for so long. you probably understand me more than i understand myself sometimes, haha. i'm lucky to have such faithful friends, and i hope that never changes :]
so i guess that's my life as of late! if i start a blog, i'll let you know so you can read it EVERY DAY. just kidding, i'm sure you have much better things to do with your time than read my ramblings. :P i love you and i'm so glad I got to see you all over my break at least once!! this last bit of school is gonna fly by and then we get summer <333
Lizzie Mae I would totally read your blog errday.
And we love you too!! We're always here for you and we know we can count on you too.
While you're in such a good mood like this, you should take the time to write a list (or something similar) about a bunch of things you like about yourself and your life to look at and remind you when you're feeling down.
Love you Maddy! <3